Practical Singleness Lesson 4


Single-Minded Singleness Has Its Advantages (part 3)

Remember being single is a blessing, so be sure to use your singleness wisely not only in time but also with your finances.

In Our Finances

‘Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’. Hebrews 13:5

Our world has programmed us to think if we don’t have it, we need it, and if we do have it, then we need the newer, faster, and cooler model. Not surprisingly, the responses I got from talking to singles regarding finances were bent toward spending money, rather than earning or saving it.

I appreciate the opportunities I have as a single regarding the ability to spend. It is easy to want what others have, spend on things that are the ‘latest’ and justify my spending since, at this point in my life, I don’t have immediate financial responsibilities to a spouse but I still, need to be careful.

‘Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven.’ Matthew 6:19-20

Jesus wants us to have financial independence and freedom from having money control our lives. He sent His disciples out to minister and told them, ‘Take nothing for the journey except a staff, no bread, no bag, no money in your belts.’ Mark 6:8

To many of us, this is contrary to how we are living. Our focus has become obtaining earthly pleasures instead of ways to serve and please the Lord through our finances.

Jesus tells a rich man who wanted to know what he must do in order to inherit eternal life, ‘Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven’. Mark 10:21

‘Honour the Lord with your wealth, with the first fruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.’ Proverbs 3:9-10

King Solomon, one of the wealthiest people to have ever walked the earth says:

‘I say it is better to be content with what little you have. Otherwise, you will always be struggling for more, and that is like chasing the wind.’ Ecclesiastes 4:6

In Our Time Alone

‘Teach us to make the most of our time, so that we may grow in wisdom.’ Psalm 90:12

Like many singles, I am blessed with time that is not in demand from others, I have the opportunity for ‘alone’ time. I can accomplish tasks around the house, work on the internet, watch television, read, get together with friends, go shopping, and do a multitude of other good and necessary activities.

However, what is the best use of my time alone?

When Jesus was alone, he prayed, Matthew 14:23, Luke 22:40. When his disciples were alone with Jesus, they learned about the things of God, Mark 4:10. Throughout my years of travelling, I am embarrassed at how I have spent the idle time in airports, on planes, and on tour buses sleeping, watching movies, reading a newspaper or doing nothing.

I have wondered what difference it would make in my life if I used these hours more productively?

I have since committed myself to spend time in prayer, reading the Word, sharing my experiences through writing, and studying. My appreciation of alone time has grown after hosting many of my married friends and spending time around families. I have learned that my responsibility is not to waste the opportunity I have, but rather to use that time to grow in wisdom.

I have concluded that the best cities for single Christians are ones that provide an opportunity for a person to grow spiritually, have meaningful relationships, and provide opportunities to serve. Don’t let others tell you what you should do or where you should live because it’s cool, let God lead you in how to live.

Turn up the music

Turn it up loud

Take a few chances

Let it all out

‘Cause you won’t regret it

Lookin’ back from where you have been

‘Cause it’s not who you knew

And it’s not what you did

It’s how you live

                        Point of Grace                          (Lyrics by Cindy Morgan)

Being single allows us to live our lives with a great deal of independence and the ability to take a few chances, but this does not mean for us to live it selfishly. When all is said and done, our identity will not be found in whom we knew, or didn’t know, or what we did, or didn’t do, in life, but in how we lived it.

‘Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God.’ 1 Peter 2:16

Get Involved

The most important lesson for single people, especially those who really find it hard being single, is to get involved.

‘Make good use of every opportunity you have, because these are evil days.’ Ephesians 5:16

Get stuck into God’s work at church; be involved in the community and help other people. Use every opportunity to serve God, and to fall deeply in love with Him. Use your singleness to help others to grow in their faith. Don’t let sadness and emotional pain prevent you from serving God.

I refused to let my hurt get in the way of serving God. The time I had available has been used to bless many others as well as myself. Time to learn to play the guitar and keyboard, time to learn to pray effectively without children to distract me. Time to devote to God so that I could truly fall in love with Him.

Time to nurture new Christians and give undivided attention to them. Time to use my money for God and people in need. Time to do things I would never have done in marriage. Time to develop skills and gifts that only time alone could produce.

Don’t spend your time hunting and searching for that elusive love of your life, spend it for God and in His time, He will direct your paths. Redeem the time, get to know God, fall in love with Him, serve others, give and it shall be given to you.

Your First Thoughts

Please write down your own thoughts on this part of the lesson whilst they are fresh in your mind.

Evaluation Questions

These questions are designed to help you think through the topic discussed so that you may have a true view of yourself.

1. What do YOU like about being single?

2. Why would it be beneficial to YOU to remain single?

3. Would it be beneficial to YOU to enter a relationship?

4. Would it be beneficial for your MATE for YOU to enter a relationship with them?

5. Can YOU afford financially to enter a relationship?

6. How would YOU go about still having time alone if YOU entered a relationship?

7. Would entering a relationship affect YOUR involvement with the church?

Next Class

Difficulties with Being Single

We will discuss: It’s not all plain sailing being single though; there are some things which can really be challenging. I will provide the Top 7 singles issues and we will look at the topics no one wants to talk about, Christian single men and lust as well as the Christian and masturbation.

Next Class Preparation

Please read 1 Peter 5:7 / Genesis 38:6-10 / Matthew 5:28 / 1 Corinthians 6:12 / 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 / 1 Thessalonians 4:4-5 / 2 Peter 2:19 / James 4:17 / 1 John 1:9.

Go To Practical Singleness Lesson 5


"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."