This war which begun the pool of Gibeon, 2 Samuel 2:12-23, turned out to be a long war, the power struggle within the house of Israel had begun.
This was the point where God was put on the back shelf as their King, and politics took over as each side place allegiance to their kings. Here the allegiance was between Ish-Bosheth, 2 Samuel 2:10, and David. David would become stronger as a result of these conflicts, which would fulfil Samuel’s prophecy, 1 Samuel 15:28.
One of the main problems David had was having too many wives, although it was very common in these times. He had many children through them, 1 Chronicles 3:5-9, but as it is always the case with having many wives, and many children with different mothers, this brings many problems.
Concerning the sons of David, Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar, the full sister of Absalom, 2 Samuel 13:1, and was murdered by Absalom, who also rebelled against his father and wanted to remove him as king, 2 Samuel 13:23-38.
We know nothing about Chileab, who is called Daniel in 1 Chronicles 3:1. Adonijah had himself proclaimed king during the final illness of David, 1 Kings 1:1-27. Apart from what we have in these verses, we also know nothing about Shephatiah or Ithream.
As the war was going on between the two households, Abner appears to be getting stronger. He was certainly looking out for himself because he goes to those who were in allegiance with Saul. It appears that Abner’s reign was getting stronger as Ish-Bosheth’s reign was getting weaker.
Abner became very angry with Ish-Bosheth because he accused him of having sexual relations with Rizpah, 2 Samuel 3:21, who was one of Saul’s concubines. This was probably Abner’s intention from the very beginning, he himself longed to be king even though he made Ish-Bosheth king, 2 Samuel 2:8-10.
This was the perfect excuse for Abner to take over as king he thinks he is wise and so, in his anger he threatens to give the throne to David, which silenced Ish-Bosheth, this would mean that all of Israel would be under David’s reign. Abner goes ahead and sends messengers to David which tells us he wants the power to shift from Ish-Bosheth to David as soon as possible.
David reminds them that he actually won Saul’s daughter in marriage in an agreement with Saul and the proof was in the hundred Philistine foreskins.
Although here it states that David paid one hundred foreskins, 1 Samuel 18:24-25 and 1 Samuel 18:27 mention that David two hundred foreskins. David had actually delivered to Saul two hundred, but only one hundred had been required, and therefore only that number is mentioned.
David, who was always thinking ahead, knows if he has Saul’s daughter, Michal as his wife, this would give him great political power within Israel, which would result in those who originally followed Saul would now follow him. The problem here was that David had no right according to God’s law to take her back as his wife, Deuteronomy 24:1-4.
Notice that Michal’s husband, Paltiel is weeping behind her, it’s possible that Michal’s love to David wasn’t as strong as it once was, 1 Samuel 18:20. David wasn’t really interesting in having her back because he loved her but because of political reasons and we feel for Paltiel as he appears to have been an innocent victim of this political move.
At this point in time it appears that Abner was acting honourably because he knew that the kingship of Ish-Bosheth was coming to an end. Abner also realises that the only way the Philistines would ever be defeated is when David rules over Israel as a whole as God intended.
Earlier Abner made Ish-Bosheth king, 2 Samuel 2:8-10, but he now realises that God had actually anointed David to be king, 1 Samuel 10:1 / 2 Samuel 2:4 / 1 Chronicles 14:8. Abner even goes to the length of approaching the Benjamites to encourage them to allow David to rule over all of Israel.
After David had sent Abner away in peace, Joab tells David that Abner has come to deceive him. Remember Abner was a man whose heart was filled with revenge, he wanted Abner dead because Abner killed his brother, Asahel, 2 Samuel 2:18-23/ 1 Kings 2:5.
After expressing his anger with David, Joab, along with Abishai start chasing after Abner, when they caught him they killed him because he killed their brother.
Keil in his commentary says the following concerning this incident. This act of Joab in which Abishai was also concerned, was a treacherous act of assassination, which could not even be defended as blood-revenge, since Abner had slain Asahel in battle after repeated warnings, and only for the purpose of saving his own life. The principle motive for Joab’s action was his most contemptible jealousy, or the fear lest Abner’s reconciliation to David should diminish his own influence with the king. The same was true later in his murder of Amasa, 2 Samuel 22:10.
When news got back to David about Abner’s murder, he proclaimed he was innocent in all if this this but also declared a judgment against the household of Joab because he murdered an innocent man. The judgment was that someone in Joab’s family would always have issues with one of the following, running sores, leprosy, leaning on crutches, falls on the sword or lacks bread.
Willis is his commentary suggest that these five curses were, gonorrhoea, leprosy, effeminacy, untimely death and hunger. We do know that in later years, Joab was deprived of his office, which he regained only by an act of daring bravery, 1 Chronicles 11:6.
David here, is expressing God’s feelings because of what Joab did to Abner and it appears that Abner was truly sincere when he planned to help David become king over all of Israel.
Here again we see David’s humility and respect for Saul. Abner had shown great loyalty to God’s anointed, Saul, 1 Samuel 3:1, and so, David pays his respects to Saul by mourning the loss of Abner who was one of Saul’s loyal servants.
David here, is sending a clear message to all of Israel that he had nothing to do with Abner’s death and he wouldn’t act like this to anyone else in Israel.
David says although he is the anointed king and very weak, these sons of Zeruiah are too strong for him, Zeruiah was David’s sister, 1 Chronicles 2:16.
It’s clear that David was nothing like Zeruiah’s sons, Joab and Abishai, who were David’s nephews, because he never had a vengeful heart, his heart was full of mercy and forgiveness, he was a man after God’s own heart, 1 Samuel 13:14 / Acts 13:22.
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."