In the previous chapter we read about Absalom ordering the murder of his brother Ammon because he had raped his half-sister, Tamar, 2 Samuel 13:14 / 2 Samuel 13:28-29. In this chapter, we read how Joab hires a woman to confront David with a parable about Absalom, in an effort to encourage David to bring Absalom back to Jerusalem.
It appears that Joab, who was commander of David’s army, knew that David longed to see his son Absalom, 2 Samuel 14:1 / 2 Samuel 13:39. He goes ahead and hires a woman from Tekoa to pretend she is in mourning and tells her to dress in mourning clothes, and don’t use any cosmetic lotions and she is to act like a woman who has spent many days grieving for the dead, 2 Samuel 14:2. She then is to go to David and speak what he is about to tell her to speak, 2 Samuel 14:3.
Barnes, in his commentary, says the following.
‘The king as a judge was accessible to all his subjects, 2 Samuel 15:2 / compare 1 Kings 3:16.’
She goes to David to tell him a parable about a brother who murdered his brother. The purpose of the parable is to encourage David to sympathise with Absalom. When the woman goes to David, she asks for help, and David asks her what’s troubling her and she replies and says she is a widow because her husband is dead, 2 Samuel 14:4-5.
Clarke, in his commentary, says the following.
There are several circumstances relative to this woman and her case which deserve to be noticed.
1. She was a widow, and therefore her condition of life was the better calculated to excite compassion.
2. She lived at some distance from Jerusalem, which rendered the case difficult to be readily inquired into; and consequently there was the less danger of detection.
3. She was advanced in years, as Josephus says, that her application might have the more weight.
4. She put on mourning, to heighten the idea of distress.
5. She framed a case similar to that in which David stood, in order to convince him of the reasonableness of sparing Absalom.
6. She did not make the similitude too plain and visible, lest the king should see her intention before she had obtained a grant of pardon. Thus her circumstances, her mournful tale, her widow’s needs, her aged person, and her impressive manner, all combined to make one united impression on the king’s heart.
She says she had two sons who got into a fight with each other in a field, and no one was there to separate them and so, one struck the other and killed him, 2 Samuel 14:6. She says the whole clan has risen up against her and they hand over the one who struck his brother down, so that we may put him to death for the life of his brother whom he killed, then we will get rid of the heir as well, 2 Samuel 14:7.
Barnes, in his commentary, says the following concerning the whole clan rising up against her, 2 Samuel 14:7.
‘This indicates that all the king’s sons, and the whole court, were against Absalom, and that the knowledge of this was what hindered David from yielding to his affection and recalling him.’
She says they would put out the only burning coal she had left, leaving her husband neither name nor descendant on the face of the earth, 2 Samuel 14:7. David tells the woman to home and he will issue an order in her behalf, 2 Samuel 14:8. The woman says to David, let my lord the king pardon me and my family, and let the king and his throne be without guilt, 2 Samuel 14:9.
Clarke, in his commentary, says the following.
‘She intimates that, if the king should suppose that the not bringing the offender to the assigned punishment might reflect on the administration of justice in the land, she was willing that all blame should attach to her and her family, and the king and his throne be guiltless.’
David tells her if anyone says anything to her then she should bring them to him, and they will not bother her again, 2 Samuel 14:10. She pushed David and asks him to invoke the LORD his God to prevent the avenger of blood from adding to the destruction, so that her son will not be destroyed, 2 Samuel 14:11.
The avenger of blood was the nearest relative to the murdered man, Numbers 35:16-28 / Deuteronomy 19:11-13. The forgiveness of such a murderer was a violation of God’s commandment, a fact which the woman admitted here in volunteering to accept the guilt upon herself.
David says as surely as the LORD lives, not one hair of her son’s head will fall to the ground, 2 Samuel 14:11. The parable the woman shared was basically a plea for God’s mercy and so, David responds by declaring that mercy should be extended in the case of the offending brother. Like we saw earlier, when Nathan the prophet, came to David and shared a parable with him, David pronounced just judgment on the ruthless rich man, 2 Samuel 12:1-6. The result of the woman coming to David and sharing her parable has the same result, David pronounces just judgment. David again, unknowingly pronounced judgment against himself.
After sharing the parable with David, and hearing his judgment upon it, she asks David for permission to continue to speak to him, 2 Samuel 14:12. With permission given, the woman now has David exactly where she wants him to be, she can now apply the parable to David himself. The woman ask David, why then have you devised a thing like this against the people of God? When the king says this, does he not convict himself, for the king has not brought back his banished son? 2 Samuel 14:13.
Those who were banished were banished by law but not banished because of grace, 2 Samuel 14:14 / 2 Samuel 12:13. Grace is the motivation by which mercy sets aside the just punishment of the law. The banished ones can be brought back only if they forsake their rebellion, otherwise, they must remain banished if they remain rebellious.
She says she has come to say this to David, because the people have made her afraid, 2 Samuel 14:15. She thought she will speak to the king and perhaps he will grant her request, 2 Samuel 14:15. She says perhaps David will agree to deliver her from the hand of the man who is trying to cut off both her and her son from God’s inheritance, 2 Samuel 14:16.
Cook in his commentary, paraphrases what she said to David as follows.
‘If you have done right as regards my son, how is it that you harbour such a purpose of vengeance against Absalom as to keep him, one of God’s people, an outcast in a heathen country, far from the worship of the God of Israel? Upon your own showing, you are guilty of a great fault in not allowing Absalom to return’.
Notice the women gives David a huge compliment, she tells him he is ‘like the angel of God in discerning good and evil’, 2 Samuel 14:17. David’s ability to judge came from God and his judgments were God-like, as we shall see in the next few verses with Joab.
After hearing what the woman had to say, it appears that once again David judged wisely, for he knew that Joab was behind this whole thing, 2 Samuel 14:18-19. She tells him that it was Joab who planned this whole event, 2 Samuel 14:19, and so, it’s not surprising that she tells him he has ‘the wisdom of an angel of God’, 2 Samuel 14:20.
It’s possible that David was aware of some kind of conspiracy in Absalom that no one else noticed but to honour the request of his nephew, Joab, David gave the order that Absalom could return to Jerusalem, 2 Samuel 14:21. Joab fell with his face to the ground to pay David honour, and he blessed David, saying today your servant knows that he has found favour in your eyes, my lord the king, because the king has granted his servant’s request, 2 Samuel 14:22. It appears that Absalom has now gained the approval of the people but more importantly he’s gained the approval of Joab, David’s commander of the army.
David set out the terms and conditions for Absalom to come back, which were basically restrictions on where he could live. Absalom wasn’t permitted to live in the king’s court, he was to live in his own house away from the royal family, 2 Samuel 14:23-24. It appears that David’s feelings as a father, overtook his duty as a king, Numbers 35:30-31.
As we shall see later, David allowing Absalom to return to Jerusalem was going to be a bad mistake. We know later that Joab would regret encouraging David to bring Absalom back as this would eventually lead to Joab killing Absalom because he rebelled against David, 2 Samuel 18:15.
There’s no doubt that being handsome in appearance runs in the family, just like his father David, 1 Samuel 16:12, Absalom is also very handsome, 2 Samuel 14:25. Much like what happens in today’s world, being handsome brings its perks, in Absalom’s case, it appears he used it to win people over to follow him.
His hair was a big part of his features and he only cut it once a year and the weight of his hair was over two kilograms, 2 Samuel 14:26. Absalom had three sons and it also appears that his daughter Tamar was also very beautiful in appearance, 2 Samuel 14:27. Later in 2 Samuel 18:18, we read that Absalom had ‘no sons’. This implies that all of his sons died when they were very young, that’s why their names are not mentioned here.
Barnes, in his commentary, says the following.
‘These probably died in infancy. From Tamar must have been born Maachah, the mother of Abijah, and the favourite wife of Rehoboam, 1 Kings 15:2 / 2 Chronicles 11:20-22.’
Absalom lived in Jerusalem for two years but never saw David, 2 Samuel 14:28. He tries twice to get Joab to come to him but this failed, 2 Samuel 14:29. He’s clearly looking for some kind of attention, and so he orders his men to set fire to Joab’s field, 2 Samuel 14:30. Joab now goes to Absalom’s house and ask why has his servants set his field on fire? 2 Samuel 14:31. Notice that Absalom pleads his innocence, 2 Samuel 14:32. How on earth he can plead his innocence after he ordered the murder of Ammon is beyond anyone’s understanding, 2 Samuel 13:28-29.
Absalom tells Joab that he wants to see David’s face, and if he is guilty of anything, let David put him to death, 2 Samuel 14:32. This shows us what kind of character Absalom is, he was devious and ungrateful when it came to dealing with others. Therefore he was unfit to be the king of Israel. David should never have trusted him and given him permission to return to Jerusalem.
It appears that Joab didn’t fully understand what Absalom’s long terms plans were. He didn’t fully understand that Absalom was planning a rebellion against David in an effort for him to become king himself. After summing Absalom, and bowing down to David, David kisses Absalom, 2 Samuel 14:32-33 / Genesis 45:15.
We can only imagine what was going through Absalom’s mind at this moment, because he never wanted peace with his father, like when Jesus was betrayed with a kiss by Judas, Luke 22:48, David here was being betrayed by Absalom.