One of the most common questions which Christians ask is will we recognise each other in heaven? I believe by the time we read through some texts, the answer is a clear yes.
We need to remember that in Old Testament times, the Hebrews had no clear teaching concerning the future after death, either of good people or bad people. It’s not until Jesus came that he brought death and immortality to light, 2 Timothy 1:10.
However, just because there is no clear teaching about the afterlife in the Old Testament, this doesn’t mean that an afterlife didn’t exist; it simply means there was no clear teaching about an afterlife. They never even considered life after death as a possibility. So far as the early Hebrews understood, it all ended in the grave, at death, Ecclesiastes 9:5.
After David committed adultery with Bathsheba, we read that she became pregnant, 2 Samuel 11:5. Unfortunately, the child died, 2 Samuel 12:18, but David says, “Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me,” 2 Samuel 12:23.
When David uses the words, ‘I will go to him,’ this implies that he will recognise his son in the afterlife. The thought of knowing that they will see their son again would obviously bring a lot of comfort to David and Bathsheba.
As we move to the New Testament, the teaching about recognising each other becomes clearer, 2 Timothy 1:10. Notice in the account of the Transfiguration of Jesus, Mark 9:2-8, we read that as Jesus was being transfigured, Elijah and Moses appeared alongside Jesus, Mark 9:4.
Now remember, Elijah didn’t die; he was taken to heaven, 2 Kings 2:11, and Moses died many years ago, Deuteronomy 34:5-6. It’s clear the disciples recognised Elijah and Moses because Peter himself names them, and offers to build three shelters, Mark 9:5. This implies that if Peter, James, and John recognised Elijah and Moses in their spiritual bodies, they will certainly recognise them in heaven.
One of the most compelling arguments for recognition in the afterlife is seen in the story of the Rich man and Lazarus, Luke 16:19-31. Notice that both were aware of where they were.
Lazarus was at Abraham’s side, Luke 16:22, which is a Hebraism for heaven, the paradise of God, the third heaven, Luke 23:43 / 2 Corinthians 12:2-4 / Revelation 2:7. The rich man was in Hades, Luke 16:23-24, which is hell, Matthew 13:41-43 / Matthew 25:41.
The rich man recognises Abraham, Luke 16:24, although he died many years ago, Genesis 25:7-10. The rich man also recognises Lazarus, Luke 16:23-24. He also remembered he had a family and five brothers, Luke 16:27-28.
Abraham would hardly ask the rich man to ‘remember’ what he received in his life and what Lazarus received in his life if he wasn’t capable of doing so, Luke 16:25.
From this story, we learn that those who die have a memory of themselves, others, even those who were long dead physically, and an awareness of where they are.
Then we come to Judgment Day, where we find Jesus saying some interesting things concerning the sheep and the goats in Matthew 25:31-46. Notice that Jesus says to those on the right that they fed Him, gave Him something to drink, invited Him into their homes, clothed Him, looked after Him when He was sick and visited Him in prison, Matthew 25:35-36.
Notice that those He was addressing had no idea what Jesus was talking about, they couldn’t remember what they did for Him, Matthew 25:37-39. Jesus tells them that when they cared for other Christians, they were actually caring for Him, Matthew 25:40.
The implication of these verses appears to suggest that even though they didn’t know they were actually serving Jesus, on earth; in heaven they would remember serving and helping other Christians during their lifetime.
Notice also those in heaven mentioned in Revelation 6:9-10. These Christians who were killed because of their faith are aware of where they are. They remember they had been murdered, they were aware of those who murdered them, and they were aware that those who murdered them hadn’t been punished yet.
When we think about this, how can Christians appear before the great judgment seat of Christ and be held accountable for the things done in the body, if we can’t remember what we did while in the body, Romans 14:10-11 / 2 Corinthians 5:10? This surely implies we will have memory and recognition of people, Daniel 7:9-12 / Revelation 20:12-13.
When we read all these texts together, it’s clear there will be memory and recognition of others when we get to heaven. If we are going to see Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God at the judgment, Luke 13:28.
If we are going to see Jesus just as He is in all His glory, 1 John 3:2, and the Father in all His glory, Revelation 22:4; then it stands to reason that we shall see and recognise each other in heaven.
If Jesus was recognisable after His resurrection, then surely we also will be recognisable in our glorified bodies. When we meet our loved ones in heaven, their glorified bodies will be different, but we will still recognise them, and they will recognise us.
In the film Gladiator, Maximus’ wife and son had been murdered by the Romans and later in the film, he speaks to his slave friend and tells him his wife and son are waiting for him in the afterlife. The slave tells him, ‘You will meet them again, but not yet.’
In other words, we can still enjoy life to the full, knowing that we will be united with our loved ones again in heaven. We will see them again, but not yet, because God has work for us to be getting on with while we wait for that reunion.
Job was one of the richest men in the Bible. He had numerous possessions, and he had seven sons and three daughters and then, Satan came and took it all away with God’s permission and power. At the end of the Book of Job, God rewards this Godly man, and he gives him double of everything, including seven sons and three daughters, Job 42:12-13.
Why didn’t God double the children like he doubled everything else? Why didn’t he get twenty kids? I’ll tell you why. He had twenty kids! God doubled his children; he had ten in the afterlife and ten on earth. In other words, Job will have twenty kids forever. He will meet them in heaven, he will recognise them in heaven, and his children will recognise him.
When we read 1 Thessalonians 4, it’s clear that Paul is trying to bring some comfort to those who are grieving over the loss of a loved one. He offers them this comfort in their sorrow by reminding them that they will see their loved ones again, 1 Thessalonians 4:17.
Can you imagine how excited you would be the first time you heard that news? What a relief! What hope! A lot of people love to organise family reunions where they get the whole family together and gather them from around the world.
They meet long-lost relatives whom they haven’t seen in years, and they meet uncles and aunts that the children have heard about but never met before. What a joyful occasion, family reunions are.
But when Christians die and go to heaven not only to be with Jesus, but to see their loved ones who have gone on before, this will be the greatest family reunion we can possibly imagine.
In other words, when a loved one who is a Christian dies, Christians never have to say a final goodbye, but a ‘see you later.’ People often say to those grieving, ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ but the truth of the matter is, if they were Christians, our loved ones are not lost; we know exactly where they are.
When you look at the backside of a hand-woven tapestry, it looks like a chaotic, tangled mess of threads. Knots are everywhere, colours clash, and there seems to be no design or purpose.
That is often what grief and life on earth feel like: a confusing, painful underside. But when you flip the tapestry over to the front, you see a masterpiece of breathtaking beauty. The threads that seemed random are perfectly woven into a beautiful picture.
Meeting our loved ones in heaven is the moment God flips the tapestry. We will finally step back, see the whole picture, and understand how every earthly heartbreak, tear, and goodbye was part of His grand, perfect design.
Another question closely related to the above question is, can I be happy in heaven if my loved ones are in hell? This question resonates with a lot of people and with me, as I have family members who died without accepting Christ.
I know this question arises from Revelation 21:4, where John mentions that ‘God will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’
In other words, when I’m in heaven, how can I not cry or feel the pain of a loved one who is in hell? First of all, I don’t believe this passage is speaking about heaven. I believe it’s speaking about the Roman Empire, who were slaughtering Christians.
With Rome and her rulers destroyed, there will be no more sorrow, death, because it has been defeated, Revelation 21:4 / Revelation 14:3 / Revelation 20:12-15. With Rome and her rulers destroyed, there will be no more crying, tears, or pain, Revelation 21:4.
Despite this verse speaking about the Roman Empire and the relief that the saints received when Rome was gone, the question still remains. How can I, in any shape or form, not mourn or cry when I know that my loved ones aren’t with me in heaven?
We know God’s ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts, Isaiah 55:8-9 / Romans 11:33-34. But like so many other questions regarding things in heaven, the simple answer is we don’t know how that will be possible.
I believe when Christians die, they will become fully aware of why they are in heaven, and I also believe when a non-Christian dies, they will be fully aware of why they are in hell, and so both parties will be fully aware of their lives on earth and why they ended up where they are.
Imagine a loving father begins to cry as he sits in a courtroom watching his son being legally convicted of a serious crime. When the verdict is being read out, his father recognises that the judges’ verdict is fair, correct, and necessary.
Maybe, in some strange way, everyone will come to a full awareness of God’s justice, truth, holiness, and wisdom. Maybe we should just trust that God’s justice is always right, Genesis 18:25 / Isaiah 45:21 / Deuteronomy 32:4. Maybe we will finally understand just how holy God is, Exodus 15:11 / Isaiah 6:1-8 / Isaiah 59:1-2, and how sinful we are, Romans 2:10-16 / Romans 3:23.
Maybe we should believe Him when He says, ‘Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted,’ Matthew 5:4. Maybe our mourning of friends and loved ones in hell will turn to joy in Christ, Isaiah 66:22-24.
Maybe we should ask if God is happy when anyone chooses to reject Him and not obey the Gospel? 2 Thessalonians 1:9. The answer to that question is surely no, Ezekiel 33:11 / John 3:16-21. We know that God longs for everyone to repent and come to Him, 1 Timothy 2:3-4 / 2 Peter 3:9.
The Scriptures clearly teach that there will be memory and recognition in heaven of ourselves, others we know and those we haven’t met yet, such as Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
Although we couldn’t really answer the question concerning being happy in heaven whilst our loved ones are in hell, maybe this should prompt us to be more bold in sharing the good news with the loved ones we still have with us.
Charles Spurgeon once said the following.
‘If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay.’
In other words, instead of trying to find the answers to difficult questions, we should focus our time on telling our loved ones about Jesus while they still have time to choose Him. From personal experience, I find no joy in knowing my parents are lost forever because they refused to accept Jesus.
In fact, it hurts, but one thing which brings me a little comfort is the fact that my wife and I went to visit my parents before they died, and we deliberately spoke at length to them about Jesus and His offer of eternal life. They refused to accept what the Bible said, but at least we gave them the chance to accept or reject Him.
I know that if they had died without me telling them about Jesus, the mourning, pain, and sorrow would have been unbearable. They chose to reject Him; that was their choice, and we, just like God, have to honour and accept their choice. God has never forced us to choose Him, even though we decide to choose hell.
C.S. Lewis said the following.
‘There are only two kinds of people, in the end, those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done’ and those for whom God says in the end, ‘Thy will be done.’