We have had the benefit of studying the ‘father to son’ proverbs, but here we have the benefit of studying some of the ‘mother to son’ proverbs, 2 Timothy 1:5. We know nothing about Lemuel except that he was an unknown king who wrote the words his mother taught him.
Some of the early Jewish rabbis identified Lemuel with Solomon. Other scholars believe he was Hezekiah or even an anonymous Arabian prince. Some also suggest that the name Lemuel is another name for Solomon, but we do not know for sure. We do know that the name Lemuel means ‘belonging to God’ or ‘dedicated to God.’
Clarke, in his commentary, says the following.
‘There is no evidence whatever that Muel or Lemuel means Solomon; the chapter seems to be much later than his time, and the several Chaldaisms which occur in the very opening of it are no mean proof of this. If Agur was not the author of it, it may be considered as another supplement to the book of Proverbs. Most certainly Solomon did not write it.’
Listen and listen again seems to be a continual call, are we listening? is the question. She lets him know that 1. He matters to her, and 2. She vowed him to God. The strength given to women is both physical and financial, 1 Samuel 1:11. Note that some translations use the word ‘vow’ instead of ‘prayer’.
Coffman, in his commentary, says the following.
‘This suggests that He was given to his mother in response to her vows, as was Samuel, 1 Samuel 1:11.’
History shows us that adultery ruins kings, such as Napoleon. It is possible that this refers to the commonly large harem, such as the one that destroyed Solomon, 1 Kings 11:10 / 2 Samuel 11-12.
Kings and rulers really need to avoid strong, intoxicating alcohol. An intemperate man is ill-fitted to hold the reins of government, Ecclesiastes 10:16-17.
Only God could know the tremendous and widespread damage alcohol has caused when influencing a man of power. Alcohol is considered to have its uses, Psalm 104:15 / Proverbs 3:10, not as an intoxicating beverage but for medicinal purposes, Matthew 27:34 / 1 Timothy 5:23.
People should never use alcohol to forget their problems; it simply causes a diversion, it takes their minds away from their problems and doesn’t deal with those problems.
In every society, we find people who are unable to defend themselves in a courtroom, but the wise in society should speak up on their behalf; they should speak up for those who are poor and needy. Lemuel is simply saying that a king must have justice and equity in his kingdom.
In Hebrew, each verse of the remaining text of this chapter begins with the appropriate letter of the Hebrew alphabet.
Coffman, in his commentary, says the following.
‘There follows next in this final chapter an acrostic, ‘An alphabetical poem on the Virtuous Woman; and the alphabet here is regular, unlike the acrostics in Lamentations and Psalm 119, where minor reversals of certain letters and a few other irregularities are found.’
Bear in mind, she isn’t an actual woman, but it’s a description of a woman that King Lemuel’s mother advised him to seek. There are a few lessons we can learn from this woman.
1. Her worth.
Some translations have the words, ‘Who can find a virtuous wife?’ but the point is clear, she is a woman of power and strength, Proverbs 12:4. Her husband, who is noble, knows that she is more than capable.
Her husband knows that she is strong and therefore valuable, which makes her rare like rubies, Proverbs 3:15 / Proverbs 8:11. In other words, she is worth more than your annual income. Her husband trusts her because she has earned his trust.
And I’m wondering if that’s how we husbands think about our wives. When was the last time you told your wife how much you value her? Paul tells us that we should love them as Christ loves the church, Ephesians 5:25. That is, to love her sacrificially, unselfishly, and purposely.
2. Her Faithfulness.
In a world where adultery and fornication are rife, here is a woman who can be trusted to be faithful to her husband. Her husband isn’t going to run off with some rich woman in a love affair. Oh no, he’s got a wife who is worth way more than that, way more than any ruby that could be found.
Her husband trusts her because she has earned his trust. He’s got a wife who will do nothing but good for him all the days of her life. He’s got a wife who submits to him and lives with purity and reverence, 1 Peter 3:1-2. She has her husband’s good in view constantly, recommending his kindness through her good deeds.
Clarke, in his commentary, says the following.
‘Her good is not capricious; it is constant and permanent, while she and her husband live.’
She likes to work and enjoys what she does. It wasn’t that long ago when women were taught to hate ‘hard work’, and they stayed at home in the enslaving atmosphere of the housewife.
Clarke, in his commentary, says the following.
‘And all her labour is a cheerful service; her will, her heart, is in it.’
3. Her Work Ethic.
Someone once said, ‘Don’t tell me you love me, show me.’ And her commitment to her husband and her love for him are shown in her actions and attitudes. This isn’t a lazy woman claiming benefits, this isn’t a stay-at-home mum.
She diligently works and enjoys what she does, Proverbs 10:4. She gets up in the morning and gets things done. She was a businesswoman, and she was more than happy to go out into the world and trade with merchants and buyers.
She knows how to use her talents to provide for her family. She plants a vineyard, that she may have wine for a beverage, for medicine, and for sacrifice. When her goods are selling, she works into the night to maintain production. She is self-motivated and stays busy. Her eye is always open to business opportunities, especially in real estate.
Clarke, in his commentary, says the following.
‘She does not restrict herself to the bare necessaries of life; she is able to procure some of its comforts. She plants a vineyard, that she may have wine for a beverage, for medicine, and for sacrifice. This is also procured of her own labour.’
She takes care of her own strength and health by useful labour and exercise, avoiding that which might ensnare or weaken.
Clarke, in his commentary, says the following.
‘She takes care of her own health and strength, not only by means of useful labour, but by healthy exercise. She avoids what might enervate her body, or soften her mind-she is ever active, and girt ready for every necessary exercise. Her loins are firm, and her arms strong.’
When her goods are selling, she works into the night to maintain production.
Clarke, in his commentary, says the following.
‘She takes care to manufacture the best articles of the kind, and to lay on a reasonable price that she may secure a ready sale. Her goods are in high repute, and she knows she can sell as much as she can make. And she finds that while she pleases her customers, she increases her own profits.’
4. Her Generosity.
Clarke, in his commentary, says the following.
‘The spindle and distaff are the most ancient of all the instruments used for spinning or making thread. The spinning-wheel superseded them in these countries; but still they were in considerable use till spinning machinery superseded both them and the spinning-wheels in general.’
One of her talents was making thread with the distaff and the spindle. She is a very hard worker and businesswoman, but she didn’t forget about those who were vulnerable.
She is interested in those who are vulnerable; she cares about the poor and the needy, Psalm 82:3. In fact, her arms were always open to help them. She was willing to feed those who needed to be fed, clothe those who needed clothing and protect those who needed to be protected.
Here is a woman who knows not only her own worth, but the worth of others, regardless of their status in life. She always put the interests of others ahead of her own, Philippians 2:3-4.
5. Her Family.
Scarlet is a symbol of quality, and purple is the colour that was expensive, Acts 16:14. Her other activities do not prevent her from caring for the needs at home. Her most repeated quality is her care for her household, Titus 2:4-5.
She knows how to use her strengths to her advantage, and she knows why she is doing it; she wants to support her family. Her most repeated quality is her care for her household.
And that’s a lesson we all must learn because we all can spend so much time on work that we neglect those closest to us, Song of Songs 1:6. We get so busy with life, we often neglect not only our relationship with our spouses but also our relationship with God, Revelation 2:4.
6. Her Husband’s Reputation.
Often, a husband’s public image depends upon his wife. Some scholars think this is because she dresses her husband well. One of the best reputations a man can have is to be known as the husband of a good wife. As long as a husband has an industrious wife, there is no need to worry about the future.
Clarke, in his commentary, says the following.
‘She is a loving wife and feels for the respectability and honour of her husband. He is respected not only on account of the neatness and cleanliness of his person and dress, but because he is the husband of a woman who is justly held in universal esteem. And her complete management of household affairs gives him full leisure to devote himself to the civil interests of the community.’
Her husband is not only a noble man but also an elder. Someone once said, ‘Behind every great man stands a great woman.’ The reason her husband has a good reputation is that she has a good reputation.
She cares for her husband’s reputation, and she works hard so that her husband can carry out the role God has given him to do. An elder has a huge task, and even in the Old Testament.
He had the responsibility of sorting out the affairs of the community he served. Yes, she was wealthy, and yes, her husband had an important role to play. But she never lost sight of the value of having a good reputation, Proverbs 22:1.
7. Her Confidence In The Future.
Although she works hard, she can laugh at the future. And the reason she can laugh is that she is strong, dignified, and honest in her dealings with others. She’s not like the religious leaders who used dishonest scales to rip off people, Proverbs 11:1.
Her reputation was worth way more than any deceitful profit she could gain from anyone. Her words are characterised by wisdom and faithful instruction. She is alert to the needs of her family, and she knows that idleness can lead to sin.
That’s why she is so energetic in meeting her family’s needs. She knows that idleness leads to vice. Therefore, she is energetic in meeting her family’s needs. Notice that when she talks, people listen! Proverbs 21:23.
I don’t know about you, but when it comes to studying with other groups, I have a secret weapon which I often like to unleash. That secret weapon is called my wife, and if these people thought I knew a little about the Scriptures, they would be silenced when they met my wife.
The point is, when my wife speaks, people stop to listen. And the reason people stop to listen is that more often than not, she speaks wisdom. We all need to learn to be wise and handle the Word of God correctly because when we do, people will listen to us, 2 Timothy 2:15.
Clarke, in his commentary, says the following.
‘This is the most distinguishing excellence of this woman. There are very few of those who are called managing women who are not lords over their husbands, tyrants over their servants, and insolent among their neighbours. But this woman, with all her eminence and excellence, was of a meek and quiet spirit. Blessed woman!’
8. Her Reward.
This is the reward for being a virtuous woman.
Henry, in his commentary, says the following.
1. Her children grow up in her place, and they call her blessed. They give her their good word, they are themselves a commendation to her, and they are ready to give great commendations of her; they pray for her, and bless God that they had such a good mother. It is a debt which they owe her, a part of that honour which the fifth commandment requires to be paid to father and mother; and it is a double honour that is due to a good father and a good mother.
2. Her husband thinks himself so happy in her that he takes all occasions to speak well of her, as one of the best of women. It is no indecency at all, but a laudable instance of conjugal love, for husbands and wives to give one another their due praises.’
Her family will speak highly of her, and her children and her husband call her blessed and simply praise her. I wonder how many children today say these kinds of words to their mothers? I wonder how many husbands today say these kinds of words to their wives?
Oh, how we need children and husbands to encourage their wives like this today. Lots of women do many noble things, but his wife, well, she surpasses all of them. In other words, she is in a league of her own.
9. Her Fear.
Deceptive means to be vain. When we get older, we understand that we don’t keep the beauty we once had when we were younger. Charm and beauty are deceitful in the sense that they do not reveal the true person and are fleeting.
We all know people who appear charming and physically beautiful. And many women use their charm and beauty to take advantage of others. But the real worth of this woman is seen in the fact that she fears the LORD.
The real worth of a woman isn’t seen in what she wears. It’s inwardly in her gentle and quiet spirit; it’s seen in her devotion to God, 1 Peter 3:3-4. The real worth of a woman is her devotion to God. Such a woman, endowed with the virtues outlined in this poem, deserves praise.
She is no slave to a master husband, but a person in her own right who takes and fulfils an honoured place in the life of the home and her community. While all of this is good, the key is her fearing the Lord! Proverbs 1:7. The Proverbs start and finish with this crucial concept.
10. Her Honour.
The woman deserves to be honoured and praised for all her hard work at the city gates. The city gates, where the elders met to discuss the affairs of the city, were where people arrived and left. She knows that being the wife of an elder who met at the city gates is only going to help her husband in his role to help others in the community.
Praising her at the city gates gives us the idea of a memorial for her and all that she has done. In other words, all her acts of kindness and generosity have left a legacy among the community she worked in.
Henry, in his commentary, says the following.
‘Some are praised above what is their due, but those that praise her do but give her of the fruit of her hands; they give her that which she has dearly earned and which is justly due to her; she is wronged if she has it not.’
The woman described in all these verses is the woman who deserves recognition so others will follow her example, 1 Peter 3:1-7. Husbands are to honour their wives, and we do that by recognising that she too has a share in your gracious life, 1 Peter 3:7.
Let me encourage the married women, model your life after the woman described in Proverbs 31. Let me encourage you, husbands, to cherish your wife, bless her and be proud of her.
Let me encourage you, young women, if you plan to marry one day, let me encourage you to strive to be like this woman. Let me encourage you, young men, if you plan to marry one day, let me encourage you to strive to be like the husband we read about.
The Book of Proverbs is very challenging, to say the least, especially when it comes to putting them into practice, but they are given that we may live our lives in such a way which pleases God. It’s clear that the authors, Solomon, Agur and Lemuel knew exactly what they were talking about and wanted us to learn from their mistakes, Romans 15:4.