Scriptures

Practical Singleness Lesson 7

Introduction

Can We Be Sure God Will Provide?

Ok you’ve been single for a while now and you really want to get into a relationship with someone and you’re asking the question, will God ever bring someone into my life?

That’s a fair question but maybe you should answer this question first why do I want to get into a relationship with someone?

Motives for Entering a Relationship

Before we get into any relationship we need to ask ourselves why we want to get into one? What are our motives? Am I ready? Am I emotionally and spiritually ready to handle a relationship?

Whether we like it or not there are people, even Christians, who will enter a relationship for all the wrong reasons. Below are a few examples.

a. Don’t think that marriage will make you happy.

b. Don’t think that marriage will solve your problems.

c. Don’t think that marriage will bring you closer to God.

d. Don’t think that marriage will make you a better person.

e. Don’t think that marriage will fulfil your dreams. It won’t because it can’t.

Marriage is good and noble and holy and honourable, Hebrews 13:4, but it’s not the be all and end all of life. If you are miserable being single, how can you be sure you’ll suddenly be happy being married?

‘Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you’. Ephesians 4:29

‘I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell.’ 1 Corinthians 13:1

The World’s Motives for Entering a Relationship

Believe it or not there are times when we convinced ourselves we are doing the right thing and in the right relationship with the right person. Love can truly be blinding.

‘Of course, such rules appear to be based on wisdom in their forced worship of angels, and false humility, and severe treatment of the body; but they have no real value in controlling physical passions’. Colossians 2:23

‘So that you may be innocent and pure as God’s perfect children, who live in a world of corrupt and sinful people. You must shine among them like stars lighting up the sky.’ Philippians 2:15

There are many hurting people in the world today who are saying in their hearts, ‘will God give me a spouse or not?’

This ‘wondering if’ is causing many single people sadness and pain. People without hope are like a coconut husk upon the sea being tossed here and there by any wind that blows, it never settles and is never established. The effect of ‘doubt or lack of assurance’ is that it causes unnecessary sadness.

Hannah’s Sorrow 1 Samuel 1:7-18

We read, ‘She (Hannah) wept and would not eat as her enemy (the other wife) taunted her.’ 1 Samuel 1:7

Our enemy, Satan, does that to people when they don’t have any firm foundation of faith. Hannah’s life up until then was one of doubts and distress; no real hope, no assurance, no peace. It is not God’s will for you to be in that state of mind, He wants you to know for sure that He will provide your deepest heart’s desire.

Receiving Assurance

In 1 Samuel 1:17-18, we read, ‘Go in peace,’ Eli said, ‘and may the God of Israel give you what you have asked him for.’ ‘May you always think kindly of me,’ she replied. Then she went away, ate some food, and was no longer sad.’

Do see you see what’s happened?

Hannah receives assurance from God via Eli the priest. Look again at the effect of it, she is now described as being ‘no longer sad’.

Do you want to be like that?

She now had faith, faith is like that coconut finally being grounded and rooted and it cannot be moved by the waves of doubt. When our enemy says, ‘you’re destined and doomed to be single, like it or not pal!’ You can say, ‘NO, I know what God has promised and I will wait for His time however long that may be.’

If you dearly ache and long for something that’s not sinful, it is very likely that God has put that desire there in your heart, especially if you are living a righteous life. God is a God of compassion and mercy and grace, so why would He only give us things that we do not dearly long for and hold back the things that we deeply long for?

Canaanite Woman

‘A woman, whose daughter had an evil spirit in her, heard about Jesus and came to him at once and fell at his feet. The woman was a Gentile, born in the region of Phoenicia in Syria. She begged Jesus to drive the demon out of her daughter. But Jesus answered, ‘Let us first feed the children. It isn’t right to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.’ ‘Sir,’ she answered, ‘even the dogs under the table eat the children’s leftovers!’ Jesus said to her, ‘Because of that answer, go back home, where you will find that the demon has gone out of your daughter!’ She went home and found her child lying on the bed; the demon had indeed gone out of her.’ Mark 7:25-30

The Canaanite woman came to Jesus with a request. Jesus basically said, ‘NO!’ and the disciples told her to go away! Did she give up? NO!

She would not give in because she knew how much she longed for this request. It was real deep-cutting stuff, and she got her request through her persistence and the faith she showed. Jesus always encourages us to persist and not give up.

Listen! God is God of mercy and He wants to give you great gifts. You don’t have to live your life in sadness and doubt. Your life will be weakened, and sad and powerless that way. It’s not spiritual to keep saying, ‘Oh Your will be done.’

God is saying, ‘Prove My will and pray something. Please, my child pray. I want to give but I want you to ask.’

Ask God until you have that deep assurance that God has heard and will answer. If you are not longing enough to persist and pray, then you cannot expect to obtain assurance and faith. Ask that your joy may be full.

Hezekiah

Let’s look at Hezekiah. In Isaiah 38:1 we read, ‘About this time King Hezekiah became sick and almost died. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to see him and said to him, ‘The Lord tells you that you are to put everything in order because you will not recover. Get ready to die.’

Isaiah is basically saying to Hezekiah, ‘You’re going to die and that’s the end of the matter.’ Hezekiah could have said, ‘Oh well if God said that, that’s it I can’t ask Him to change His mind.’

What if you think that you will never have a spouse, yet you deeply ache and weep for such a one?

Will you say, ‘Oh well I guess it’s not God’s will’? Or will you say, ‘I am so hurt and longing for this need, which is a need! I will not give in until I have assurance that God has heard me to the point of granting me my request?’

Hezekiah did just that, he didn’t sit back and pine away! He got on his knees and wept and prayed to God.

‘Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed: ‘Remember, Lord, that I have served you faithfully and loyally, and that I have always tried to do what you wanted me to.’ And he began to cry bitterly.’ Isaiah 38:2-3

He basically said, ‘PLEASE LORD PLEASE, I know I’m not worthy, please grant me my request!’

God then replied through Isaiah that He’d heard Hezekiah’s request and would grant it to him, promising him fifteen extra years of life.

‘Then the Lord commanded Isaiah to go back to Hezekiah and say to him, ‘I, the Lord, the God of your ancestor David, have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will let you live fifteen years longer.’ Isaiah 38:4-5

If Hezekiah had not asked he would have died! God is waiting for YOU to ask and believe and receive. If you are not ready for her/him yet, He knows the best time, He will delay the time of giving. He will use that time to prepare you to be a better spouse for your other half, and also make you a better person for His service.

‘Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks will receive, and anyone who seeks will find, and the door will be opened to those who knock. Would any of you who are fathers give your son a stone when he asks for bread? Or would you give him a snake when he asks for a fish? As bad as you are, you know how to give good things to your children. How much more, then, will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!’ Matthew 7:7

Please note

The kind of person you ‘want’ in your life may not be the kind of person you ‘need’ in your life. But if you trust God and give that person whom God brings into your life a chance you might be surprised and slowly discover that not only are they the kind of person you really ‘need’ in your life but they are the kind of person you really ‘want’ in your life.

Your First Thoughts

Please write down your own thoughts on this part of the lesson whilst they are fresh in your mind.

Evaluation Questions

These questions are designed to help you think through the topic discussed so that you may have a true view of yourself.

1. Do YOU believe that God will provide a potential mate for YOU?

2. In what ways can YOU relate to Hannah?

3. In what ways can YOU relate to the Canaanite woman?

4. In what ways can YOU relate to Hezekiah?

5. Do YOU believe that God will open up an opportunity for YOU to ask someone to enter a relationship with YOU?

Next Class

How Important Is Spiritual Wisdom In My Choice For A Mate?

We will discuss: We will have a ‘very short’ Bible lesson for Christian singles and then we will look at Solomon’s mistakes. We will look at the dangers of being unequally yoked as even two Christians may still not be right for each other and we will finish with a practical application.

Next Class Preparation

Please read Proverbs 18:22 / 2 Corinthians 6:14 / 1 Kings 11 / Proverbs 12:4 / Proverbs 20:4 / Proverbs 21:9 / Proverbs 21:19 / Proverbs 29:22.

Go To Practical Singleness Lesson 8

DAILY BIBLE VERSE

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

Hebrews 4:12

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