It’s so important to listen to each other instead of just what you think is happening within the relationship. Good, clear and honest communication is vital in any relationship.
Talk to each other about how you’re feeling about the relationship. Are you happy within the relationship? Tell each other why you’re happy. Is the relationship making you sad? If so, in what way, again talk to each other about how you feel the relationship is making you sad.
If you need to end the relationship, then end it, don’t prolong it if your heart isn’t really in it. I know you will break the other person’s heart but surely the short-term pain is worth the long-term happiness.
Would you like it if you were in a relationship with someone whose heart wasn’t in it fully for the long term?
1. Learn to express your feelings and frustrations honestly but without accusing or attacking the other person.
2. Choose words, expressions and a tone of voice that are kind and gentle. Don’t use speech that could easily offend or spark an argument.
3. Don’t exaggerate, distort or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme words like ‘never’ and ‘always’.
4. Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.
5. Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your grievances. Getting even isn’t the goal; you want to get things resolved.
6. Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling and needing. Try to detect his or her underlying concerns.
7. Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal or arguments. Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin.
8. Don’t hesitate to acknowledge your own failure and be quick to forgive the other person. Make sure you don’t hold a grudge.
9. Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling. Encourage each other as you press toward a solution.
10. Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing, at the right time, in the right way and for the right reasons.
Sometimes when we enter into a relationship, we end up being so obsessed with each other we forget about out duties as Christians and in some cases, we lose our identities. Yes, couples need to work together in glorifying God but remember that all relationships need breathing space to do the things God called us to do as individuals.
1. Assume the responsibility of leading and initiating in your relationships with women.
2. Be a spiritual leader in your relationship with women.
3. Do little things in your relationship with women that communicate your care, respect and desire to protect.
4. Encourage women to embrace godly femininity.
1. In your relationships with godly men, encourage and make room for them to practice servant leadership.
2. Be a sister to the men in your life.
3. Cultivate the attitude that motherhood is a noble and fulfilling calling.
4. Cultivate godliness and inward beauty in your life.
Please write down your own thoughts on this part of the lesson whilst they are fresh in your mind.
These questions are designed to help you think through the topic discussed so that you may have a true view of yourself.
1. What areas or topics would YOU struggle to communicate to your partner in a relationship?
2. Do YOU understand the role differences between a man and woman?
3. Do YOU understand the role of a woman in a relationship?
4. Do YOU understand the role as a man in a relationship?
5. What dangers can YOU see if both roles were not encouraged by each other?
6. What benefits can YOU see if both roles were encouraged by each other?
I hope and pray that this small series on ‘Practical Singleness’ has been of some benefit to you. Maybe you got answers to some questions, maybe you’ve changed your thinking on some of the topics we’ve looked at or maybe you’ve had your own beliefs enforced through this study.
I hope and pray if you decide you stay single, you will use your singleness wisely, if you decide to enter a relationship, I hope and pray that you choose wisely and allow God to bring someone to you. But most of all have fun and enjoy your relationship whether you stay single or enter into a relationship with someone, I hope and pray that you always keep Jesus at the centre of your life.
I realise that some Christians may have already sinned in their relationship with someone else and feel lost and helpless because they haven’t spoken to anyone about it. Well, remember you may have sinned but you don’t need to lose your salvation over it. Remember the words of John and speak to God about it first,
God bless you as you strive to live a live which pleases Him.
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."